Friday, January 7, 2011

Jan 7 2010




HI FAMILY AND LOVED ONES!
This week has been rediculously humbling. ahhh let's start with last week.
New Year's was dumb. we counted down to 10;00. probably the most uneventful new years ever. and I was asleep at the coming of the new year. oh well, at least i was obedient (which can't be said for some of the elders in our district :D
(when i have an asterisk- that just means it's one of my sunshine statements from that  day cuz i'm just writing you the main points out of my journal :D)
*every missionary has their own legend, you can be remembered for good or bad. i'm gonna be remmeembered for AMAZING :D
*Be an A team Missionary!!!
Me and my companions are getting so close that we're finishing each other's sentences... the problem is we're so close we have the same sense of humor now, and sometimes we just laugh sooooo hard we cry!... even sometimes when we're  praying!
On new year's day I SMASHED the record for sit ups in the MTC. it was 411 for the girls and 1650 for the boys. It has to be done in a 50 minute period and I did ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED AND FOUR! I was so proud. one of the highlights of my mission already :D
*Gag me with a spoon* sis Loar :D
Near the end of their time here our district got reaaaally distracted... and distracting. haha... just quoting comedians and movies and playing games... but it was fun. even though i still studied most the time.
Our last day with our whole district was Sunday and we had an AMAZING devotional!!!
Monday was soooo hard! Half our district was gone including my 3rd companion. It was like 1/3 of me was missing. It's still hard.
Tuesday the rest of the district left so it was just me and sis Oja.
**Happiness is not found at thhee end of the road, it is experienced along the way.
so take not for granted each moment of your life and yyou will find a reason to be happy each day.
Don't worry so much about tomorrow, that you forget to live today!**
*I met a lady "betsey Jensen" at the Doctor's. SO funny. I almost took a picture. she liked my earrings*
*You cannot lead others to Christ unless you yyourself have found him*
*The call to be a missionary is a call to become more like Christ and bring others along the way*
*SHOWING service is better recieved than TALKING ABOUT service*
Ok, now to the meat of this E-mail. Holy moly  how much I've been humbled.
Our first day of Visitor Center training was cool... but I had a really hard time with it. The whole first day they were basically just telling us about how lucky  we were to get called VC, which is absolutely true- here's some of the reasons
-We were picked FIRST
-The most important resource in a VC is the MISSIONARY
-We are picked because "they can see our testimonies through our pictures" cool eh? so maybe that only pretty girls get sent there thing IS kinda true... which I don't know if I like or I hate. I knew  I wanted to be the face of something... thought it was Utah, but it's much more fulffilling to represent THE CHURCH :D
And I realized that the VC teachers (we have 2- sis Murphy and Metzger) do this EVERY week! A LOT of the time they spend teaching is just comfortinng girls with their calls because the girls who get called VC are definititely some of the most HARD WORKING, FUN LOVING, CREATIVE missionaries there are, and we feel bad that we're not allowed to do what everyone else does, but the thing is- we really DO learn more than otherr  missionaries. All mission presidents request VC sisters for their time in the field and when the MTC is hiring, VC sisters get 1st priority. That's a pretty big deal if you ask me.
And I KNOW all this... but I just don't want to BELIEVE  it. I had a reaaaaaaaaalllllllly hard time being ok with my assignment, and I still have a hard time with  it. I was such a brat the 1st 2 days of VC training cuz the 1st day was ok, but the 2nd day they were like "how do  you feel" and I told them the truth- I FEEL LIKE A TOUR GUIDE!!!! which is absolutely NOT true, and I know  that... my heart just hurts. really really really bad.
I dont' have time to get into a lot of it, but I've had a change or heart. or at least I've decided to. FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.
I've decided to NOT complain about my call for 1 second more. NOTHING is bad enough that complaining makes it better. People have been through much harder things and been in much worse situations and places than I''m in.
Because it took me such a long time to truly accept my call, it made me nervous that if I had been more humble and willing to accept my call earlier, if i would have gotten a call that I really wanted. and I prayed about it very hard and when we went to the temple this morning, I definitely got my answer.  It was in D and C 50 and it says something along the lines of "This is what God wants and if it were any other way it would NOT be of God"
As I'm teaching people, "Because God says so" is THE best answer I have for most questions, but people still want more rationalization, and I'll give it to them, but because God says so really is the best answer. And now I have to be the one to actually accept it.
I KNOW I am going to Mesa for a reason. I am called to a PEOPLE , NOT A PLACE. and I need to stop being prideful.
In the times before Christ, people would sarifice animals. After Christ, we're told that all we have to sacrifice is a broken heart and a contrite spirit.
I am putting my entire life  on the alter of the Lord and letting Him make me into the person He needs me to be and I need me to be, and most  importantly my future family needs to be.  I'm not OVER it, but I'm done complaining. God needs me to be a leader. THAT is who I am and who I will always be. I was born into the TRUE CHURCH because He knew I would share it. And that's exactly what I am going to do.
"I'll go where you want me to go Dear Lord
Over Mountain or Plain or Sea.
I'll Say what you want me to say dear Lord
I'll be who you want me to be"
I love you all.
Christ sacrificed His all so I can have it all

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